- It’s common online for some older women to claim men aren’t dating anymore or that they can’t find good men, but this argument is often presented as an internet myth.
- Men are generally attracted to younger women. Youth is associated with traits such as tighter skin, fewer past relationships, less emotional baggage, and greater energy and enthusiasm.
- Historically, women often married around 17–18, while today the average is closer to the early 20s. Men traditionally married in their mid-to-late 20s, while today they tend to marry in their early-to-mid 30s.
- Men often value qualities that are strongest during a woman’s younger years, which can give younger women more opportunities to find partners.
- Men also need financial stability to support a wife and children. Younger men often lack the resources to do this, so women may prefer older men who have had more time to establish careers and stability.
- Men and women may also define “dating” differently. A woman might date several men at once or regularly meet different men, while a man may invest heavily in one woman and consider the relationship exclusive. This difference can distort claims about whether men are dating.
- Many men meet potential partners through family, friends, workplaces, social settings, or places such as pubs and cafés rather than online. Online dating is only one part of how relationships begin. Some men also avoid approaching women because they fear rejection or public humiliation.
- Women may find it more difficult to attract a long-term partner as they get older, and some cultures have historically reflected this through terms for unmarried women past their mid-20s.
- An older woman may therefore feel that men have stopped dating when, in reality, many men are already in relationships or actively seeking long-term relationships with younger women.
- Women may also underestimate how much some men value character, loyalty, and morality when choosing a long-term partner. Men looking for marriage may consider whether a woman would be a suitable mother and whether she can provide a stable relationship.
- The argument also claims that higher numbers of past sexual partners are associated with lower relationship stability and that men place a strong value on loyalty and certainty about paternity.
- Men may also value peace and emotional stability after working all day. Someone carrying significant unresolved baggage from previous relationships may struggle to provide that stability. Some men also dislike situations where a woman remains emotionally attached to former partners, particularly a male “BFF” or someone treated like a brother.
- Ultimately, the argument is that women may underestimate the subtleties of male attraction because attracting male attention can be relatively easy. As a result, some older women may interpret difficulty finding a long-term partner as evidence that “men aren’t dating,” when the reality may be that men are dating differently or pursuing younger partners.
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