I (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating long-distance the last 2 years while I finish up college. We’ve had issues before with him giving his ex a little too much attention, and with him viewing long distance as a contact to stay together, not a relationship. We have broken up once and he’s given me the “I wish I could dump you but I love you too much” talk at least 3 times. Usually when I’m at the airport about to go back to school. At the end of the day, none of that matters though. I know I fucked up.
This all happened at a house party this past weekend as graduation was the day before and many people were doing a final hurrah before moving out of their rented homes. I made the mistake of pregaming with three or so drinks before arrival, not realizing there was $1 shots. I had roughly $8 in ones at the start of the night. I don’t have any now. My guess is that $8 of vodka shots did not go well.
I woke up hungover with a hickey on my chest and the vague memory of making out with a girl against a tree and a different guy against a dumpster.
My boyfriend and I are not the perfect couple, it’s a lavender relationship held together by the fact that we are both mild tempered individuals who love and respect one another. He’s my best friend yk? I could tell him that I kicked a baby and he’d probably agree with me then continue talking about his day. He has been my safety blanket the last two years, the person I run to for every up and down, the one that keeps me grounded. His one fault is that he lives life giving 60% emotion to me, when I get dressed up it’s just “nice” when I do my hair up it’s “good job”. I think drunk me knows I needed more than that.
I have no clue how to tell him what happened, or even if to tell him. I broke girlfriend rule #1 and don’t know how to fix it.
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