I’m a second grade teacher about to turn 30 and I’m quite certain that my students’ parents would be more than a little bit shocked to find out that Ms. X paid her way through college and grad school doing sex work.
The short version of why I did that goes like this. I’m an ABC and my father died when I was 14. My mom worked for minimum wage at a dry cleaners and so if I was going to go to college, I would need scholarships and a job. I got some scholarships, but started working as a waitress at a pizza place two weeks into my freshman year. The people I worked for were very nice to me, but I wasn’t making nearly enough money. Every night on my way home I’d pass this Asian massage place with its neon “open” sign and I would think to myself, “I bet the women who work there are making way more than I am.”
When my car broke down right after midterms, I needed money to fix it, money I didn’t have. So I put the charges on my card and started stressing about how I was going to pay it off. That night as I was stopped at the light by the massage place, I saw a man get out of a nice car and go inside. I thought to myself, I have to give it a shot. I like sex, I like men, I enjoy giving men handjobs, so what could be wrong with doing it for money (other than the fact that it is illegal)? The next morning, I walked in as soon as they opened. The woman behind the desk was surprised and asked me in Mandarin why I was there. I responded the same way and explained that I was looking for a job. She looked me over, then told me to follow her into the back.
She grilled me for probably 20 minutes about myself, why I wanted to work there, did I know what went on there, etc., etc. In the end, we agreed that I could work two days a week to start. The following week I started — the shifts were very long and exhausting, but right away I was making more in a day that I would have made in a month at the pizza place. I felt rich and although a few of the men were gross, most of them were nice, appreciative, and frankly, just wanted someone to touch them and make them feel special. And they tipped me very well.
After two years of giving handjobs (that’s all that was allowed there), the owner asked me if I’d like to start making more. Yes, of course I would. That meant switching to a more upscale place, but it also meant providing the full girlfriend experience to the client. I was a little nervous about having actual sex with the men, but she assured me that they carefully screened the clients (a few of whom were women) who went to the better place. So I agreed to try it out and I have to say I (mostly) really enjoyed the work. The clients were polite, gentle, and often wanted me to experience as much pleasure as they did. And I did with some of them.
By the time I finished my MA I had banked enough money that I now live comfortably on an elementary school teacher’s salary. And I return to my old home state each June and July to do some escorting with long-time clients.
When I started teaching I moved to the opposite side of the country so that I wouldn’t run the risk of running into any clients on back to school night. The only people who know what I did for a living and still do for extra money are my old clients and about 10 women I worked with when I was still working out of a spa. I’m posting this here because I’m not ashamed of what I did (and still do) and I want people to understand that women and men go into sex work for all sorts of reasons.
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