I’m unsure whether my dad likes me sexually or not, or maybe he does, but he’s in denial. I’m 13, he’s 44. He makes comments about my body, for example (based on real things he said to me): “Oh, your butt is big,” “You’re getting older; your boobs are going to get bigger,” or anything relating to my boobs, butt, or weight that seems unnecessary.
Additionally, he forces me to be affectionate with him, despite me setting boundaries with him multiple times. I’ve told him countless times that I wasn’t comfortable with him slapping my butt or just touching my butt in general; however, he always just brushed it off as “he was my dad, so it’s fine,” but to me it’s not because he’s violating my boundaries.
He forces me to kiss him on the mouth, and if I don’t “kiss enough,” he gets angry with me. Recently, experienced one of his tantrums, something about me not respecting him and not loving my own dad. I’ve repeated numerous times that I wasn’t comfortable with it.
And recently, I was sexually assaulted by one of my classmates, which I told my parents. However, instead of actually talking about it and helping me, my dad randomly brings up him being overly affectionate and touching my butt UNCONSENTUALLY, saying that it wasn’t fine that my classmate sexually assaulted me, but it was fine that my own dad does it.
Occasionally, I vent to one of my friends, and she brought up the fact that she felt like my dad had an interest in minor girls. I’ve been pondering about it ever since, because it also kind of makes sense. He talks about my brothers’ minor friends who are female, making comments about their bodies or their appearances similar to the comments he’s made about me.
(I’m sorry the grammar might be bad.)
I’m just not sure if I’m overreacting/delusional/overthinking about this or if my dad might actually have a sexual interest in me.
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