Ive (42F) been in a dead bedroom marriage for a while now. Me and my husband (45M) rarely have sex and even when we do, its quick disappointing and just all about him.
Ive tried everything. Talked to him, suggested therapy, tried to spice things up. Nothing works. No effort on his end. It all became too much. Eventually I started finding sex elsewhere.
As time went on, it became more normal to me. Resentment for this issue not being taken seriously as well as the excitement of stepping out made me continue even when i felt like i shouldnt or would have regret.
Eventually I stopped. I wanted my marriage to be better but nothing changed. Leaving isnt an option. Our entire lives are tied together and he has said before that he would make divorce as difficult as possible. We get along just fine. But the intimacy and affection is dead.
I went out of town for a work trip and ended up hooking up with someone. Figured if things wont change then I will just have to find intimacy elsewhere. This is once again my new normal.
