So I(25M) am very much obsessed with my cousin (28F) for a very long time. Our families have been very close and we almost meet very frequently. My cousin and I have been close since childhood and she is very beautiful from the start. It’s like she is the most attractive female in our family.
I always liked her and had a good time but I started to get sexually attracted to her when I was 19. I was selected in a college that was in the hometown of my cousin so my family decided for me to stay at my aunt’s place. So I get to spend some time with her. That was when I was 18. My cousin at that time was in her last year of college in some other city and she used to visit the home at weekends. At that time i was not yet sexually attracted to her. But then the Covid wave hit in 2020 and our college went into online mode and I came back to my home.
That was the time when I started to miss her and get sexual feelings about her although I have never shown my attraction to her ever directly. I used to watch porn and think of her while masturbating, and think about her all the time. I was just obsessed with her and my sexual desire towards her was increasing day by day. So for almost 1.5 years, our college stayed in online mode and then in mid 2021, we were called back to attend college, so I went back to my cousin’s place.
During this, my cousin graduated and now was searching for a job so most of the time she was staying at home. Seeing her again was a big relief to me. At this point I was so obsessed with her that I started to show signs to her unknowingly, like one day she was setting her hair in front of the mirror and I just stayed outside the room staring at her ass and she looked at me through the mirror and I immediately got moved. And like when she was laying down on bed and talking to me, I used to see her cleavage through her tshirt and then she pulls her tshirt up, like i can tell she knew at this point that I am onto her, but while our talks i never gave her hints or flirt.
One day, it was very hot at night so my cousin decided to sleep in the room which had AC with me. We have our eyes closed but not fully slept yet and I intentionally started to bring my hand towards her lips while still my eyes closed. I was pretending to be asleep. I then just slowly raised my fingers, and touched her lips. She woke up by that and I just pretended that it all happened by accident. Then in the same week, we were again sleeping in the same room and i started touching her hair while pretending to sleep and she also knew what I was doing but didn’t say anything. Then on the same night, I woke up in the middle and saw my cousin get her legs up on me and her hand on my face. Damn that feels good. I knew it was also intentional by her because she was also showing some activities of being half awake but was not moving her legs away from me. I also played along. Then many nights like this happened and we were intentionally touching each other like by a sound of thunder or a door being opened by wind but have never crossed any line of touching sexually.
She even sent me 2 inta reels of love related and i reacted to it but she deleted it. At this point I knew that she is also showing signs like i do. But this was the last few months i stayed at my aunt’s place because I got a job offer during my last year and now I was preparing to move to another city. Only if I get more time, I would have talked to her.
Now I am in a different city and we only see each other 3-4 times a year, but I still have that attraction to her. I still think about her while i masturbate, I just can’t let go over her beauty and her personality. I will always regret not talking about my feelings during my stay at her place, otherwise we might have sex many times but on the other side i think that might impact our relationship.
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