I am a 28F in love with a 19M. We were together for 2 years. For context I am a very vulnerable person who has her guards up all her life but somehow that boy overcame all of it and touched my heart. I hope I can convey this through words how much enclosed introverted I have been for all my life because of so many life traumas emotionally unavailable parents financial struggles and what not.
Anyhow what I shared with this guy was real and all those efforts were from his side if I had a hint of sentiments towards him initially I was keeping them to myself bcz I believe that I am not enough and I would never ever find something good so I have never pursued things myslef everrrrr…he changed everything he made me feel so loved and cared for and worthy and important or anything a women heart may desire. But then things happened I tried to be there for him through thick and thin but on his part he was never happy like if I have messed up no matter how much sorry I may be no matter how much I may try to make it up he would never accept anything until he decide to make things up himself so it got exhausting like really very exhausting and I was surely acting from the place of my insecurities and why I just can’t have some peace. Long story short..
2 months back we had a fight timelines of event is that we met after almost 1 year exactly on 12th March we had a good time it was overwhelming but then just 1 week after that he started avoiding me to the extent that I was going nuts calling him again and again dropping msgs to no response and then there was the right where I had a melt down then somehow all blame was on me for ruining this hs because he somehow wanted was only sometime then he said he has exams will talk after two months but in our last conversation he does mentioned how he wish to have me as his age fellow so that he could be in same class and enjoy little moments but he still loves me and so on…
But he didn’t came more than 2 months passed he blocked me everywhere but then I reached out and I was told he is seeing someone and it all came as such a shock that I am unable to get out of bed for 2 days now and I just don’t know what did I do to deserve this I have been through hell just to be with him and how can someone just forget everything and move on like I never existed like I never meant anything like whatever they do to get me was just a show he put up for fun.
Yes we had conversations in our good times too where I told him that I would want him to see the world and meet new ppl and have all those experiences of University life struggles friendships breakups and all…tbh I am not the person to cage ppl I never ever imagined myself to keep him to myself while keeping him from the journey that every human being go through in this life to have exposure experieneces growth but still I couldn’t process it where he said he can be with me but not like it used to be and I don’t know how it works so I said I would leave he said he is here everywhere everytime but then he blocked me and there is no way to reach out to him. I had questions I wanted to know things but then I am here stuck
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