When I met her (F27), everything was really sweet. We clicked hard intellectually, were into a ton of the same stuff. Sex was never a huge deal for me, so I honestly didn’t sweat it, figured with a little effort, things would work out.
But I think I finally snapped.
Maybe I’m the one who’s messed up, but it honestly feels hypocritical that she’s (or at least used to be) into yaoi, Korean manhwa, danmei, all that. I thought it was quirky, genuinely didn’t bother me.
Then there’s the gossip thing. She lives for gossip, and with her friends, sex is just casual, funny, no big deal. They laugh about it like it’s nothing.
But I’m not allowed to go there.
Every single time I so much as graze a topic that’s even remotely sexual, she hits me with a side-eye, talks to me with straight contempt, or shuts it down on the spot to talk about literally anything else.
The breaking point was a few days ago. I saw a meme about spanking and joked that maybe we should try something like that one day. She gave me the silent treatment for three days, sent some side message like, “You bore me.”
I know this might sound shitty to asexual folks, but after two years, you’d think something like that would just slide. Nope. This isn’t a one-off; it’s constant. Every conversation has to be curated, absolutely zero sex talk, not even implied.
And in a world like this? It’s almost impossible not to brush up against it. I was never some sex-obsessed dude, never once pushed for anything, not even nudes, for fuck’s sake. But honestly? I’m so sick of it. I’m tired. I had no idea how much sexuality is just woven into everyday life until now.
I’ve put up with it. I’ve walked on eggshells, made a constant, conscious effort, and all I get are these never-ending shit tests about never mentioning sex. Honestly, I’m done. I feel like I’ve completely wasted my time with this person and could’ve easily found a “normal” woman.
I’ve tried talking to her about it. I brought up SSRIs, pretty sure she’s taken them, and I figure that’s part of the problem. But I didn’t push because even talking about *that* makes her mad.
I’m completely fed up living with a walking inquisition who doesn’t hold anyone else to these insane standards, not her friends, not anyone. It’s only me who gets this extreme, sanctimonious attitude. I’ve finally had it.
I’m gonna take the first real chance I get and finally leave her. I could’ve been building something real with someone else this whole time, and all my effort has just earned me ghosting, side-eyes, and constant contempt, like I’m some desperate sex-crazed monkey to her or something.
I’m done. It’s over.
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