I have been with my wife for 15 years, and married for the last 10.
In her defence, she has remained friends with her ex throughout the entirety of our relationship – this is not a new development.
The relationship she had with her ex was not some high school crush or one-night stand; they were together for seven years, and engaged to marry (though they separated before officially tying the knot).
My wife and I have been going through a very difficult patch, and it isn’t showing any signs of recovery. We haven’t been intimate with one another since October last year, and I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the best part of two months now.
In January, my wife travelled to Turkey to have a boob job – something that I supported her with, but made clear it wasn’t my want (I’ve always maintained that I love her as she is, and wouldn’t change anything for the world. In a word, she is ‘perfect’ in my eyes).
For the trip, she took her ex with her as a companion – I couldn’t go because we have three young children, and it’s not like it was a family vacation. So I cared for the kids whilst she was away.
Last week, she informs me that her boobs are not sitting right (I wouldn’t know as I haven’t seen her naked since, like, late February), and that she will need a revision, which means another trip to Turkey to have the issue fixed.
She informs me that she will be taking her ex again, to which I say “that’s fine” as I would rather she went with someone as opposed to going on her own.
Fast forward to Sunday, and she tells me that she is going to visit her ex for a catch-up. I’ll note that this is not usual behaviour; whilst she has maintained a friendship with her ex, she only sees her (her ex is a girl) maybe once or twice a year, and that’s only ever a group events – never visiting her house.
Anyways, she is gone for several hours (maybe four or five in total), and when she comes home she is a lil off.
As above, things aren’t great between us at the moment, but this behaviour was new. She was quiet. Withdrawn. Not filling me in on the chit-chat from her catch-up.
Today, she left her phone whilst dropping the kids off at school, and my paranoia got the better of me, and I checked the messages between her and her ex.
I don’t feel great for doing this, and so I’ll take whatever flak I get for it in the comments.
What I see is her ex flirting with her, saying that she “looks like a model after her operation”, and my wife saying “but I need a revision on my boobs. I’ll show you” to which she says “you’re damn right you’ll show me!” with a drooling emoji. It was after this message that my wife told me that she was going to visit her ex.
I get that girls can be comfortable showing off their body parts to one another, but does the fact that my wife is bi, and that she is getting naked for her ex change that?
TL;DR: wife offered to show her ex her boobs, and the ex invited her to her house. My wife didn’t come home for several hours, and seemed off on her return. Things have been estranged between me and my wife, and she has a history of flirting and cheating. Would I be overreacting if I called her out for this or is this fine because girls are more open about showing one another their bodies?
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