I (40m) have a 18 year old daughter that started seeing a 23 year old guy 3 weeks ago. (Unfortunately its legal where I’m from.)
2 weeks ago, she wanted us to meet him at our house. I was already not happy about the age difference so, I asked her his name and decided to google him (totally not expecting to find anything). To my surprise, the 1st 3 articles were about how he was arrested and convicted of raping a 12 year old girl when he was 20. I immediately flipped out and forbade him from ever seeing her again.
Unfortunately this seems to have caused a rift in our relationship as she has completely stopped talking to me.
Also, I know that she has been visiting his house every week due to a tracking app I secretly on her phone. To do god knows what.. sigh..
I have thought about confronting her about this but,
- I don’t want to cause a bigger strain on our relationship
- I don’t want her to know I downloaded something on her phone without her permission
I have also talked to several lawyers about this to see what I could. Unfortunately, its completely legal (Surprise, surprise the politicians who make these policies are disgusting predators as well.)
To make things worse, yesterday she begged me to allow her to visit him, and that she was in love with him and wanted to marry him and have kids with him???
This really was my last straw, I began shouting at her, calling her all sort of vile names. (I’m not proud of my behaviour, but wanted to be honest.) The look on her face is something I would never forget… her eyes were filled with tears and she hid in her room for the rest of the day.
I view pedophiles as the lowest form of human life. I don’t believe there can be redemption from it. I have had numerous talks with her about it. I can’t stop her from seeing him but Im worried my actions will push her closer to him. How do I handle this?
I have begun drinking myself to sleep every night hoping this nightmare would end just to wake up to realize I’m still in a nightmare. I feel like God has abandoned me.
I just want my daughter back..
